


The Missing Months

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Episode 9 Speculation [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Character Development, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Minor Kylo Ren/Rey, Multi, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Prequel to my Episode 9 Speculation, as in that one canon mention, like if you squint - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 21:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17333003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The months after Crait, and how everyone endures.





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Full disclosure, I did not read the recent Poe Dameron comic, so...I’m making stuff up as I go along.
> 
> Also, this chapter was therapeutic to write considering TLJ ended on such a downer.

It was long after everyone else went to sleep that Rey noticed Finn still by that girl’s bedside, and she couldn’t help but be curious. That girl had meant something to Finn, somehow, and she wondered what. Whatever it was, it must have been a great deal. A really great deal, actually.

”Finn?” she said, softly. “Are you okay?”

Finn nodded. “The med droid said that she’d be fine, but...I’m really worried about her. I mean...” He ran a hand through his hair. “She didn’t have to do this. Not for me.”

”What do you mean?”

”She...rammed my speeder when I was trying to shut down that thing...”

”You’re not making sense,” Rey said.

Finn told her. Told her about the Battle of Crait, about that tool — that piece of old Death Star tech — that threatened to bust down the doors of the Resistance base. That had burned a hole in the door. How he had tried to shut it down, only for Rose to ultimately stop him.

”She didn’t want me to die,” Finn said. “And she said she...loved me.” He sighed. “Funny thing is, when she kissed me, I just felt...confused. I didn’t know what to think, what to feel.”

”There’s nothing wrong with you, Finn.”

”Yes, but...I should have been able to feel something. Like some sort of spark, like some sort of...anything! And she was willing to do all this for...for me.”

Finn paced, visibly frustrated.

”I didn’t stop thinking about you, Rey. Worrying about you. Where you were, how you were feeling. Even though we were miles away. And with you...” Finn sighed. “It’s like I’m home.”

Rey bit her lip. The truth was, after every complication with Ben, she felt it too. The moment that she had embraced Finn outside the cave on Crait, she had felt like she was home. And it hadn’t just been the matter of seeing an old friend either. 

“You are my home, Finn.”

Finn took her hands, gently. “So are you.” A beat. “I shouldn’t be doing this. Not while...she’s unconscious. It just feels wrong.”

Rey nodded. “Get some rest. The med droids have her covered, and you’ve done enough, Finn. Really.”

She squeezed his hands back. It was funny, how she would do anything for him. Fight for him, if she had to. Two strangers who got off on the wrong foot on Jakku, becoming friends...and maybe more? She had known that part of her anger on Starkiller had been Kylo hurting Finn. 

“You should too,” Finn said. “Goodnight, Rey.”

”Goodnight,” Rey said.

Finn left, and for the first time since the Supremacy, she felt completely calm and at ease. She’d tell Finn more about her and Ben. Tomorrow, maybe. 

She just hoped he wouldn’t hate her, after all this time.


	2. Fragile Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron, shortly after the Battle of Crait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He was Kylo Ren. 

Ben Solo was Kylo Ren.

Poe could hardly wrap his head around it, if he was to be perfectly honest. He’d kept his cool during the Battle of Crait because that was what he was good at. He had kept from losing it because he could do it — staying calm under pressure was one of many things he was good at. Now, though...

Now, he felt like Kylo Ren had shattered his heart as well as his mind.

He looked over at the old chest of Ben’s belongings that he had kept. He marched over them, intent on shattering them, throwing them against the wall, anything...

He couldn’t do it. No matter how he wanted to, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t shatter the last reminders of Ben that he had. He’d collected them after Ben’s departure, scattered pieces of Ben’s innocence. One was a silver lightsaber crystal that Ben had given to him as a little boy, back when he’d been training to be a Jedi.  _”I’m gonna marry you when I grow up,”_ Ben had said, being a hopeful seven year old at the time, and Poe, ten at the time, had agreed that if he was going to marry anyone when he got older, it would be Ben Solo.

Now...

There were some of Ben’s old calligraphy practices. Calligraphizing Poe’s name, for example, on one, and it was such a simple thing, but so beautiful. Poe could memorize it without picking up the paper. There were some old paintings that Ben had done, paintings of Yavin IV’s sky. Poe could remember Ben at his easel, his brow furrowed in concentration.

So many things. Fragile things Poe wished he could shatter or tear up...

He couldn’t. He loved Ben with all his heart, even now.

Poe sat on the edge of his bed. He had to get back to sleep, but after that dream he had, he doubted he wanted to.

He headed into the main hold. Thankfully it was empty. Poe didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing him getting caffa. He made the caffa, poured it, and raised it in a mockery of a toast.

Thanks for the heartbreak, Ben, he thought, and drank.


End file.
